Nurse, with Wound

The Ramones – I Wanna Be Well (buy)

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Bo Diddley – Pills (buy)

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Jonathan Richman – Rock & Roll Drummer Straight from the Hospy-tel (buy)

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“Unhh, my head. Where am I?”

“You’re in the hospital, dear.”

“Wha-what happened? The last thing I remember I was standing in line to attend Representative Russ Carnahan’s town hall forum in St. Louis County and then…”

“You were mistaken for an Islamo-Nazi and got coldcocked by a protester.”

“Oof. What was he protesting?”

“Prescriptive fascist euthanasia of the elderly. Also, something about Kenya.”

“Wait… is Rep. Carnahan killing the elderly in Kenya?”

“That’s beside the point, dear. The point is you’re safe now, and you’re receiving the best medical care your employer’s insurance was willing to provide.”

“I think I lost a tooth… Holy shit! Is Dee Snider my nurse?”

“It would appear so. His bedside manner is a little unorthodox, but his results are unimpeachable.”

“His nipples are staring at me.”

“His nipples are said to have medicinal properties.”

“Christ, Dolores, are we stuck in another lame Post-Rockist post that’s trying to use current events as an excuse to share three awesome, but very vaguely related songs?”

“That’s part of it, Frank. Mostly I think the blogger was just overexcited at his Google Image Search find.”

“I think I’m going to be sick.”