The Post-Rockist

Posted by postrockist

Looks like we beat Pitchfork to the punch yet again. Through friends of friends of friends of friends of friends of friends of friends of the band, The Post-Rockist has acquired a complete track listing to of Montreal’s next full-length album, entitled Skeletal Lamping, due out on Polyvinyl in October 2008. Reportedly, the album will more closely resemble of Montreal’s early albums like The Gay Parade and Coquelicot Asleep in the Poppies in that it will be composed of several shorter vignettes.

Pagan Wanderlust
Stealing the Metamorphosis En Route to Gothenburg
Mortician’s Studio Hopscotch
Pwning God
Feminine Effects
Grover Cleveland’s Been Schemin’
Mingusings
Our Last Summer of Independence
The la Rochefoucauld Palindrome
Tran-Sister Radio
The Parade of Pompous Paramours
The Enduring Appendage on the Doctor from Eckernförde
We Can Do it Softcore if You Want
Billy Goat Stomp
Part-Time Doughboys and Predisposed Dissidents
A Requiem for Judy
Rhapsody in Rouge (Parts I - III)
Exquisite Confessions
Rhapsody in Rouge (Part IV)

Posted by Todd

While many of you come to visit the Post-Rockist regularly for our groundbreaking content and dedicated focus on the customer service experience, there are those of you who visit our fair site because you want to be on the cutting edge. And what’s more cutting edge than the Post-Rockist? I mean, just look at this place. We were using Times New Roman before the font was even “new,” back when it was just Times Roman. We were streaming digital audio back when other music content providers were sending out traveling minstrels to your cubicle to recreate their intepretations of the latest Yeasayer single. We were post-rockist back when you had no idea what “rockist” even meant. This site truly is your portal into the next frontier.

So it should come as no surprise that when the Post-Rockist Senior Market Trend Spotter (abbrevieted P-R Sr. MTS) spotted the burgeoning internet trend of tumbling, that we jumped on that electronic bandwagon with a gusto you have not yet seen in these here interwebs. After all, we concluded after several hours of international teleconferencing and millions spent on new media market research, most “popular” music-based web logs are just content providers regurgitating headlines about new videos, album release dates, tours, incriminating photographs and the like, coupled with a paragraph or two of unnecessary gobbledy-gook. If we just cut out the gobbledy-gook and go straight for the meat, we could provide regular music news and clips to the hordes of post-rockists who most certainly aren’t getting a daily music fix from this site. So, without further hullabaloo, we present to you: the prockist. (Market research indicated that eliminating letters from words is a swell way to build ‘net credibility.)

So the next time your browsing begins to idle, sneak on over to the prockist. We’ll try and make it interesting for you; fill it with things we think are neat. And don’t fret, we’ll still update the tried and true Post-Rockist for those who still like words and complete sentences.

Yours truly,

The Executive Post-Rockist Marketing-Communications Director

Posted by Scotter

The following is an experiment. When you click on the song below, it will open in a new window. Allow the song to play in the new window while reading along on the Post-Rockist. The music will probably move faster than reading. Let us know if you’ve enjoyed this experiment or if it works at all.

Nervous Tick Motion of the Head to the Left
Andrew Bird
The Mysterious Production of Eggs

A fading wave of unconsciousness leaves you.

Overperscribed, soberly and acoustically, under the mister [A cattle farmer from Homerville, OH, has installed misters in his fields so that the cows can continue to graze in the otherwise dangerous heat] we had survived to turn on the History Channel and ask our esteemed panel [yes, do] why are we alive? and here’s what they replied: You’re what happens when two substances collide and on all accounts you really should have died [The doctrine of probabilities dates to the correspondence of Pierre de Fermat and Blaise Pascal (1654).][A basic idea of chaos theory is the butterfly effect: “The phrase refers to the idea that a butterfly’s wings might create tiny changes in the atmosphere that ultimately cause a tornado to appear (or, for that matter, prevent a tornado from appearing). The flapping wing represents a small change which causes a chain of events leading to large-scale phenomena. Had the butterfly not flapped its wings, the trajectory of the system might have been vastly different.”]

Crack, crackle, crack: jangly thunder claps then fades.

A sound similar to when a door would open in the main deck of the Enterprise in classic 60s Star Trek. Drawing figure 8s with a pencil in 3rd grade on a hot May day. Breath pushed through pursed lips. A finger tip lightly circling the brim of a glass half-full-half-empty with water.

Tick-ta. Tick-ta. Tick-ta. Tick.

Stretched out on the tarmac, six miles south of North Platte [Glenn Miller lived in North Platte, NE, for many years as a child. Later in life, he died in an airplane crash. “Had the butterfly not flapped its wings, the trajectory of the system might have been vastly different.”]

He can’t stand to look back [Martin Scorcese directed a documentary on Bob Dylan called “Don’t Look Back.” It ends in 1967 when Dylan was thrown from his bike and nearly killed. “Had the butterfly not flapped its wings…”]Sixteen tons of Hazmat[HAZMAT is short for hazardous materials and is defined as any solid, liquid, or gas that can harm people, other living organisms, or the environment. From the North Platte Telegraph, 01/22/2005: “The train accident in Granitville, S.C., is just a small example of what kind of disaster could happen in North Platte. On Jan. 6, a tanker car ruptured after a Columbia-bound freight train struck a parked train near Avondale Mills plant. A dangerous gas cloud formed quickly, forcing more than 5,000 residents to evacuate. The chemical spill of chlorine gas killed five people.”]

It’s what goes undelivered.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

It’s a nervous tick motion of the head to the left
[Autism is often marked by nervous ticks of the head]
Tick-ta. Tick-ta. Tick-ta. Tick.
It’s a nervous tick motion of the head to the left
Tick-ta. Tick-ta. Tick-ta. Tick.
Of the what, of the head to the left
[Tik is a street name for methamphetamine]
So exercise yourself to your bereft.
Tick-ta. Tick-ta. Tick-ta. Tick.
Cause it’s a nervous tic motion of the head to the left of the, of the, to the
Tick-ta. Tick-ta. Tick-ta. Tick.
[Ticks are second only to mosquitoes as vectors of human disease, both infectious and toxic. Hazmat may be radioactive, flammable, explosive, toxic, corrosive, biohazardous, an oxidizer, an asphyxiant, an allerger.]

The Enterprise door
Tick-ta. Tick-ta. Tick-ta. Tick.
Figure eights
Tick-ta. Tick-ta. Tick-ta. Tick.
Circular motion makes sound.

Splayed out on the bathmat,
[The bathroom is the best acoustic space in most houses and apartments]
Six miles north of South Platte
[Circular motion makes sound]
He just wants his life back
[Don’t look back?]
What’s in that paper nap sack
[Tik is a street name for methamphetamine]
It’s what goes undelivered
[boom boom]
Undelivered

boom boom boom boom [HAZMAT]

It’s a nervous tic motion of the head to the left
A nervous tick-ta tic tick-ta motion of the head
Head to the tick-ta left
It’s a nervous tic motion of tick-ta the, of tick-ta the, to the tick-ta ta-the
Left

It’s a nervous tic motion of the head to tick-ta the, of tick-ta the, of the tick-ta head of the head to the

Cracks jangly thunder

Over imbibed Under the mister [Homerville, Oh]
Barely alive we cover the blisters in flannel
[Dr. Scholl’s® Molefoam® Padding: Extra-soft, smooth cotton flannel padding]
Though the words we speak are banal
[huh]
Not one of them’s a lie
[No]
Not one of them’s a lie
[Yes]
You’re what happens when two substances collide
[”Had the butterfly not flapped its wings…”]
And by all accounts you really should have died
[…the trajectory of the system might have been vastly different.]

[and now, we sigh]

–Posted by Scotter